Let's Actually Not Go There

Something terrifying has been happening to this country for years, and the worst thing about it is that many Americans don't even recognize it as such.  A malevolent force that we thought we drove out in disgrace has returned, and instead of remembering the damage done in the past and doing everything we can to fight the force back, we are acquiescing, even greeting the resurrected nemesis as a friend.  In private and public, Americans en masse are agreeing that the thing we thought was terrible not even so very long ago is in fact, kind of awesome and worth giving a second chance.

I am of course talking about Creed.

If you've been to a sports arena lately, you've been subjected to it: massive group sings of "Higher," putting the Christian butt-rocker's biggest hit in the same noughties crowd participation echelon as "My Own Worst Enemy" and "All the Small Things."  Perhaps your most recent trip to your favorite karaoke bar featured a strange amount of Zoomers queueing up to impersonate a wife-beating talent-less fake messiah goon in leather pants.  Maybe you've even seen or heard advertisements for the "epic" (presumably) reunion tour of everybody's favorite turn-of-the-millenium, "writing hard rock in the key of  D major," Pearl Jam clones.

Yes folks: Creed is back.  Scott Stapp has risen from the pop cultural grave ala his idol Jesus Christ, and he is once more our grungey pop-metal lord and savior.  You don't think things can get any bleaker in the long Trump era until they do, and now we, the good citizens of America just trying to buy things at the store without hearing "With Arms Wide Open," have to again endure this fucking bullshit.

I'm sure a trip to Knowyourmeme could explain exactly why this is happening: the chain of Internet events that led to young people who were fortunate enough to miss the first incarnation of Creed merrily ringing in this tragic second chapter, I mean.  Even us sullen, stern Creed-haters will concede that there's something ridiculous about the band (hilariously epitomized in the band's deathless Thanksgiving 2001 NFL Halftime show performance) that of course makes them great fodder for the internet youths.  But it seems clear to me that this particular revival, at this precise moment in history, cannot be attributed simply to a comedy bit.  There's something dark and pernicious happening here.  It's been said that Trump 2.0 is just the Bush administration with brain damage: as committed to ending due process, torturing prisoners, deporting unwanted people, and fomenting endless war, but way dumber, without any of the slickness of Dubya's professional party veterans.  Creed 2.0 feels similar, to me: the perfect soundtrack (the band still sounds turgid, humorless, dour, and unjustifiably arrogant as hell) to a moment of sickening cultural and political collapse, but even worse this time because we should really all know better.

I must confess that, on the cusp of discovering what good music sounds like (i.e. in my early teenage years), I owned CD copies of "Human Clay" and "Weathered."  I know what I speak of, here.  I associate Creed with some of the worst years of my life: years in middle school and high school when I felt totally lost and alienated from all human community.  While George W. Bush did not produce that feeling in me, I cannot help but pair him and his coterie with that time, and with that time's music.  The things I found despicable at my school when I was thirteen-- the selfishness, cruelty, and crudeness of my peers, and the macho authority figures that practically enabled bullies to do as they pleased, all in the barely functional guise of "compassionate" Christianity-- I learned to hate about the Republican party.  And now I'm telling you this because I was there: Creed was not a band that stood against the conservative, Christian mainstream, but squarely within it.  They were a stupid pop band that epitomized the shameless, ugly values of the time, especially the shameless, ugly value of making totally charmless, soul-less product for financial gain.

So, to conclude: fuck you if you're playing Creed, or even listening to Creed.  I'm not going to let you "enjoy things."  We were supposed to put a lid on that shit, and on Bush, etc.  MAGA keeps on showing us how a phony nostalgia can be wielded to incredibly toxic ends.  This whole Creed revival (no Clearwater) is as phony and toxic as it comes; that it's a fitting soundtrack to the second Trump term is a fact in no way worth celebrating.